the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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