just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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