ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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