I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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