Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
