I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
