I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
