I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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