If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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