i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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