She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
