Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
