Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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