He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
