she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
