I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
