You made me cry and you don't even care
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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