evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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