That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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