I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I love having hate sex.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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