WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
