Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
