i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
