There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
