wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize