She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
