U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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