I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
