so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
