The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do vagina's smell?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
