Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
