Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
