Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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