you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she looked like the before picture.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
