Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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