the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
