Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize