Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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