please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
