you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize