She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
