You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
