idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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