Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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