Define "chronic" masturbator.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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