I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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