I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
