I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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