yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online