Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (1377)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.

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  (702): yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark. http://tfl.nu/ahfc
  Replies (12) Good night (2175) Bad night (619)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore

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  (513): i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore http://tfl.nu/1wm1
  Replies (42) Good night (974) Bad night (4269)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.

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  (404): So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that. http://tfl.nu/ssua
  Replies (14) Good night (4206) Bad night (933)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.

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  (402): Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best. http://tfl.nu/u0y2
  Replies (105) Good night (14301) Bad night (1195)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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  (720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah
  Replies (10) Good night (3452) Bad night (1589)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.

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  (856): There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened. http://tfl.nu/ncfk
  Replies (46) Good night (6625) Bad night (1470)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (32) Good night (17602) Bad night (1582)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic

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  (410): I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic http://tfl.nu/vj3a
  Replies (4) Good night (2721) Bad night (761)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  You are such a penis elitist

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  (250): Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing (1-250): You are such a penis elitist http://tfl.nu/ym08
  Replies (11) Good night (1578) Bad night (598)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!

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  (319): I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing! http://tfl.nu/3rw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1206) Bad night (554)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

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  (773): Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive. http://tfl.nu/999r
  Replies (4) Good night (1766) Bad night (493)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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  (904): I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends. http://tfl.nu/6wle
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (420)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.

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  (954): There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies. http://tfl.nu/lhs1
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (411)
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  (510): View more from California

  "Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.

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  (510): "Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me. http://tfl.nu/442l
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (150)

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