Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks... http://tfl.nu/l4e9
  Replies (2) Good night (1212) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If I go to jail what happens to my debt?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  You dont have to pay it.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): If I go to jail what happens to my debt? (1-908): You dont have to pay it. (908): I'm going to jail. http://tfl.nu/9by4
  Replies (2) Good night (1489) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number... http://tfl.nu/xqo8
  Replies (22) Good night (3016) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes. http://tfl.nu/z5fi
  Replies (17) Good night (2973) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys. http://tfl.nu/k7wg
  Replies (127) Good night (3200) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person. http://tfl.nu/yofm
  Replies (13) Good night (734) Bad night (4254)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose. http://tfl.nu/bo74
  Replies (8) Good night (5690) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/zdpv
  Replies (9) Good night (735) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms http://tfl.nu/wx24
  Replies (10) Good night (1220) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward http://tfl.nu/lq2w
  Replies (18) Good night (1362) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it. http://tfl.nu/wtlk
  Replies (8) Good night (2376) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready http://tfl.nu/cfza
  Replies (10) Good night (825) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me http://tfl.nu/1kph
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible. http://tfl.nu/eufu
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves. http://tfl.nu/hxwa
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (187)

Randomize