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• (631): View more from New York

  i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

  Fav 7 928 4028

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

  Fav 15 5667 1804

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

  Fav 3 3194 1545

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night

  Fav 6 1017 1906

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.

  Fav 2 1547 701

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.

  Fav 2 919 501

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

  Fav 1 937 535

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook

  Fav 1 475 755

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.

  Fav 1 295 220

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.

  Fav 0 264 93

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.

  Fav 4 183 79

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