I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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