She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
