FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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