This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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