belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
