This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
