...so i touched it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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