forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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