My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
