can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
