did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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